BREATHE.

I broke it off with bubble-girl. She did not take it well. My phone rang so much my lodger almost dipped it in yoghurt and threw it to the wolves. In hindsight maybe shouldnt have done it via text but I knew it wouldnt go down smoothly and I figured when you’ve been seeing each other less than a month, the rules can be bent…? Maybe not. But it’s done and I felt so much better afterwards. There were a lot of things that took me to that point but they are irrelavent, the important thing is, I am a free man(ly woman) again.

What else? Oh, if you ever wonder if your partner of various years is more interested in that emo-kid-circa-2003 than she is in you, you’re probs right. I had my suspicions but TBF wasnt too worried as he looks like a Good Charlotte fanboy and she ‘hates dick’ – I was wrong not to worry. Again, irrelevant to find out after the break up, but still a kick in the teeth.

Ego well and truly bruised.

I’ve put my phone on mute this evening because bubble girl, friend who is in lust with me and cheating ex are all messaging and to be honest, it all got a bit much. None of these people are my future so why do I entertain them? If I give a book to charity, I dont then keep visiting the store to read it, you know? Its nights like this I consider Tinder, just for some fresh personalities. I won’t though because look what happened last month, almost ended up wifed.

Today was the 3rd time seeing my personal trainer (on Zoom, of course). I’ve been working out religiously for the past 3 weeks and I’m really feeling the benefits. Mentally and physically. My abs are already popping back out as well (they never fully left but they were hiding behind a couple of Kinder Bueno’s). I also went for a little skate around my neighbourhood because the sun was shining, which was so calming. Despite having post-work out jelly legs and being extra wobbly. I’d had the ghosts of exes in my head reminding me ‘You’re ridiculous, skateboarding at your age’, while I tightened my trucks. Took a minute to gather myself but I just thought, fuck everyone and anyone who has ever made you feel bad for doing something (harmless) that you enjoy! Fuck other people trying to control us (**punches fist in the air**)..

I am so excited to continue getting happier, healthier and taking the reigns on my life. It’s been a sketchy month but at the same time, I’ve never felt stronger. ❤

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